Multitudes
Multitudes without measure,
worshiping their own pleasure.
In the caves they burn their fires,
dwelling on the strange desires.
Old religion and all art,
from these strange desires start.
Very interesting, deep, and thoughtful. Beautifully done! To my mind, the second line breaks the rhythm, though. I keep stumbling on it, somehow expecting the third syllable to be stressed. But it might be my personal impression.
Марина Новикова
вт, 21/12/2004 - 11:24
worshiPING? :) well ... maybe. Though I'd rather read the first line as MULTitudes...
In a trochaic trimeter multisylables are always tricky :)
Александр Кравченко
вт, 21/12/2004 - 18:10
Of course MULtitudes! But not worshiPING! :-) I thought of something that rhythmically sounds like "simplifying" or "multiplying".
:bigwink:
Марина Новикова
ср, 22/12/2004 - 02:12